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Sunday, June 24th, 2007
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3:01 pm - Shits & giggles
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I figured, 'what the hell, might as well', so here I am. This'll probably be it, though, so if you want to drag me off your 'friends' list (what kind of friend doesn't talk to you in nearly 2 years?), that's cool. Anyway, just to give you folks an update on what's been up, then I'll get out of your hair for good.
- Facebook happened.
That is all.
Alright, I'm kidding.
- I've been in a really healthy relationship for a year and a half after ending a meaningful one that, thankfully, hasn't deteriorated as past relationships have.
- My girlfriend is really great. Some would say 'perfect'. By some, I mean me.
- I don't really have a relationship with any of my family members anymore. Yep, that's serious business, I know. But it bums me out to discuss, so I'll let it lay right here.
- I graduated college.
- I moved to Toronto and worked (read as: unpaid internship) as a copywriter in an advertising agency for a few months.
- I moved back to Ottawa because I was a wuss and wanted to be with my girlfriend. That and I was flat broke.
- I moved in with aforementioned girlfriend and her roommate Sara, a mutual friend so not as awkward as it might seem. We kept the public kissy-face to a minimum.
- Girlfriend and I move downtown and get a great place close to both of our jobs.
- Speaking of jobs, I won't get into it, but my year was ridiculous. From a call centre all the way to the present where I'm working from home as a marketing director/freelance graphic designer/writer - crazy.
- Music has gone up and down - some lulls here and there. But I've got a band together now called "Soviet States" and we just played a well-received set the other night opening for the Besnard Lakes for the kick-off of the local "Capital Idea! Festival" that features acts like the Walkmen, Xiu Xiu, and the Wrens (who put on one hell of a soiree). Oh, myspace.com/sovietstates - We're recording in July.
- I'm growing up thanks to close friends and enemies that were closer at one point and are now reduced to the size of their band's namesake.
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| Monday, December 5th, 2005
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12:30 am
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i dont know what to say, what to do, or things of that nature.
i need time, space, direction. growing up can be scary.
there's been ups and downs, more downs, little ups. im scared of hurting people, not just singular, or specific, and on the advice of many, and on intuition, it appears to be inevitable. i want to throw out the anchor, slow everything. but ive been ready for years.
everything. everything is changing. feelings, surroundings, aspirations. there needs to be some sort of middleground where everyone involved can be happy.
i cant sleep anymore. my stomach twists and i start to breathe heavily and hyperventilate. i start to sweat and stand up and try and walk, sit in the cold for a minute to catch my bearings, but the thoughts are still there. repetition is a killer.
those closest to me deserve more than ive given recently, and i know that when i finally find the direction i need, some will get the short end of the stick. maybe part of me wants to go on and leave the old behind and just start new. it's not easy. the other part realizes that it's the past that has brought me to where I am.
i hate being me right now, and i feel for those close to me.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Saturday, September 17th, 2005
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11:12 am
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my heart is close to exploding for you, my dear. just a heads up. there's a whole lot of caring going on in there.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, September 9th, 2005
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3:00 am
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birthday went well. as despondent as I was, things turned out decently. biggest surprise was the terry fox edition adidas my brother purchased for me. biggest letdown belongs to the parents but I don't dwell. ms. howell was pleasant and answered prayers with various items in a paper bag. she is too good for anyone. my discs arrived on monday and now sit in three large cardboard boxes beside me with smaller boxes inside. im stressing horribly with the return to school and abundance of music-related tasks that are quickly coming together. the projects are as follows:
school [in order for my own reference purposes] :
a] creative treatment/rationale/powerpoint for 'bulldog' gym. [complete on monday / due: tues.]
b] answer chpt. 2 questions for ad05 [due monday]
c] impromptu speech / written portion [due tuesday]
d] rough work for anti-smoking campaign for gov. of canada [due wednesday]
e] direct mail / cma competition [due following monday]
f] anti-smoking finals [due following wednesday]
music:
a] sell tickets for cd release [five dollars / zaphods sept. 24]
b] work on getting press
c] rehearse w. band
d] press kits
e] mail-outs
f] deliver cd's to cd warehouse & record runner, etc.
My head is beginning to hurt and I'm sweating and starting to worry about going to the state of mind I have in the past two years, contemplating dropping out and giving up. I can't do that to myself again. I need this sheet of paper, a goal to achieve by myself. The issue at hand, especially when it comes to school, is that I want to do everything myself as I'm convinced my ideas are tops. A professor spoke of the weak being weeded out already, but day to day I see the loud-mouthed idiots filter through the doors. Definitely harsh words, but well-deserved.
I worry.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, September 6th, 2005
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4:02 am
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| Thursday, August 25th, 2005
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3:39 am
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ottawa folks.
two things.
a] cd release party is coming up. please come. sept. 24
b] was asked to play at the capital. please come. date tba.
thank you.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Friday, August 19th, 2005
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12:20 am
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I've been listening to a lot of Matt Pond PA these days. They're my favourite band. I've got a bunch of music written and I need to start putting lyrics down. Some of the lines I've come up with lately:
"We read the stories the same but tell the tales differently"
"Lost yourself inside your throat with all the lies you're choking down again"
"I can't buy you the world, but I'll buy you a map to build our own"
I need some serious time with nature. Maybe I'll strip out of my pants and sit in a forest and see how that works. Variety is key. Still on the music note, the CD was sent off for pressing this afternoon, and I'm excited to be receiving it in little over two weeks (no jokes, ali. no jokes).
I've done a little bit of shopping the past week, purchasing two new pairs of jeans that are tighter than anything I've worn in the past... I'd say 7-8 years, but apparently they're still not tight enough. Bought a sweet green shirt at the Village yesterday, too, for .99 and it's great. It's green.
I've been having the time of my life with the Alsinator. I could gush, but I gotsta keep it cool/real. Ok, she's amazing. That's all the gushing I can do.
CD release party is just over a month away. September 24 at Zaphods w. Amos the Transparent. I'm working on getting press right now - if any of you have ideas or hook-ups, please let me know. Tickets will run for $5, if you're in town, just give me a shout and I'll get them to you.
Exciting times for stressing minds, I suppose. I'm still only 20 years old and I feel 35.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Friday, August 12th, 2005
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2:12 am
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I can't afford to give you the world, but I'll buy you a map and we'll make our own. I'm getting anxious with life and feeling lightheaded and flighty but I'll try to glue my feet to the ground. Today it was sunny outside. And humid. That's today's weather.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, August 11th, 2005
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3:25 am
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| Monday, August 8th, 2005
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7:22 am
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there is something wrong with my sleep. my smile hurts. uncle buck's pizza is filled with lies and well, bad pizza. over-consumed chocolate milk in three days. floored by dresses and smiles and eyes and things of that sort that I was wondering if I'd ever feel again. im hungry for more than pizza and chips nowadays. my ego is stroked more than a well-loved dog, and i try my best to keep up like a fat fish in the current. a circle of friends has such a brilliant center that I'm happy to say is part of my life now, and the edges are slowly being filled out by amazing people who I'm sure will become friends in no time. apparently, I can stay - with that permission, I'm more than elated, and happy to do just that.
current mood:  groggy
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, August 6th, 2005
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6:52 am
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update. frequent. off to the punkottawa.com flea market with a-team & co. brunch. then seems as though nothing short of sweet hang outs will follow. silkscreen posters and such here I come. i may have a new position manning an art store on bank st. - at least doing cash/floor duties, which is all great. ive been listening to too much they might be giants and am feeling all sticcatto. sticato. sticky-icky-ick.
who wants to be in my clesmer band. shotgun pan flute.
im in a glass case of emotion and would share it with no one but - OH MY GOD! BAXTERRRRRR.
peas.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Friday, August 5th, 2005
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4:37 am
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things are (s)well. brilliant hangouts and moments and such with one singular sensation of a person. im starved for sleep. i need more books to read, more music to listen to, more clothes to wear, more mouths to feed, more lactose in my milk. i could ramble on more and not use proper casing and such, but it's 4:30 am and you know, that's just not a) feasible or b) my idea of a good time. im going to start working on my design skills more and more, and take more phots with recharged batteries in a digital camera. the quality willn't be the best, but it's practice. i've got a lot of stuff on my mind and seem to have forgotten how to articulate myself, both verbally and in this instance, as well. im sorry.
i feel like ive fallen through branches of a bare tree after my chute never opened, but landed on water balloons that both comforted my fall and soaked me in nice, cool water. weird.
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
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2:12 pm
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I have a big hole in the back of my pants. A friends record comes out on Virgin today and I'm jealous. She's dating Jason Mraz. I think that's pretty neat. My record will be completely done on Thursday, and I have business meetings re: it all next week. Maybe I'LL be the one dating Jason Mraz a month from now. I'm obviously kidding - everyone knows I became a musician so I can date Winona Ryder.
I work tonight and then picnics with A-Team afterwards. I had this weird dream last night that every person I served at work wanted to talk about the new Kepler disc (which is fantastic, by the way), and then all of my elementary school pals from years ago formed a chorus line and performed an astounding accapella version of "One" by U2 - that's the song that was playing on my alarm clock.
I need to buy some new clothes but am broke because of school payments, insurance payments, cell payments, and music expenses. Donations accepted.
I really hope you're all doing great. Sincerity is my strong point.
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(13 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, July 29th, 2005
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2:27 am
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after a reasonable start to the day, things have slowly deteriorated. I've lost CD's, can't find my cell phone/appetite, longing just to sit against a brick wall and drink cheap beer and think more and more about ongoing ongoings. the cd will be completed next week. sent off immediately. should be in my hands by the end of the month.
i talk too much about this music venture.
i have a big hole in the back of my pants. ive been drinking a lot of diet pepsi lately. i don't use proper punctuation/grammar, it seems. i'm a hack. but im ok.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
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12:37 am
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| Saturday, July 9th, 2005
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9:25 am
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still surviving. feels like im going to woodstock today, when in reality, it's just bluesfest 05. definitely the ottawa show of the year. broken social scene, metric, stars, apostle of hustle, gentleman reg, + more. im looking forward to it like a kiss on new years.
&hearts
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, June 13th, 2005
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12:34 pm
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| Thursday, June 9th, 2005
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1:44 am
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quick update.
- finish tracking tomorrow
- cover art is done
- merchandise design (pins, t's, stickers) is being worked on
- tour, or moreso "short jaunt" is being planned: hamilton, toronto, peterborough, cobourg, with the possibility of ottawa
- still sick
- stop
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 26th, 2005
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3:33 pm
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quick update. im sick. have the flu and all of the lovely things that come along with it. doctor prescribed fluids, rest, and TLC. little did I know he didn't mean the channel. i must have watched countless episodes of 'while you were out', and now, I feel due to that, I have more chills than before. so, although the debt is slowly piling, for the health of my co-workers and customers, ive been told to stay home. no worker's comp. here, though. that's that, folks. i should be better by monday.
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 19th, 2005
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4:08 am
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this artwork/website/everything is just exhausting me. i drew a sheep and a dinosaur tonight (amongst other failed things), and tried some stuff. check out stevestpierre.com for some stuff. i took lipstick and put it around my eye, or at least, it looks like it - red rimmed? right.
snow patrol in montreal tonight. im not big on this band, but i needed to get out of the city, and well, it was an out. if anyone needs any writing work done, or anything advertising related, please let me know.
i haven't kicked the stool away, not yet.
how horrid.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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doyounotyearn's journal